I feel like a lot of people are gonna be mad about this video and I’m scared Hey guys, it’s Mikan and today’s video is a little bit of a serious one I have a lot to say before I start talking about the actual video Um, first of all, the reason why I’m making this video is because a lot of people are very curious It seems I get a little lot of comments about it all of the time and so I decided to make a video That’s really easy for people to find if they’re curious about it because it seems like a lot of people are curious about it Oh! Do not watch this video if you have struggled with weight and things like that. It’s not good for you Please take care of yourself. You don’t need to watch this But yeah, this is mostly just to make one video to address the issue I did previously have a video up where I lightly touched on it but I decided to delete that video because I feel like it really lightly touched on a lot of subjects but didn’t actually go into any of them and I would rather just like make a video to Explain it completely and just go through it thoroughly so that people won’t be confused. So that’s what I’m doing today so just to clarify, this is not like “It’s so hard being skinny!” I just want to talk about my own experiences and my Health weight thing going on. So this is actually a very personal video I’m gonna be going through it in a lot of detail. Please don’t think this is about like a skinny vs. chubby thing it’s not it’s um Completely just about MY experience with being skinny. It’s completely separate from like any social commentary It’s literally just my story and from my perspective and I’m sure that a lot of people have different perspectives but this is just my personal perspective and how it’s been for me as a thin person I’m absolutely not comparing about what it’s like to be a chubby person because I’ve never been chubby so I don’t know what it’s like to be a chubby person I’m sure that there are many many difficulties But please understand that this is like, I’m really not trying to start a fight I feel like a lot of people are gonna be mad about this video and I’m scared. Basically is what I’m trying to say So basically this has been a thing that’s been happening like literally since I was born I’ve been told that when I was born I wouldn’t eat a lot and so my mum would take me to the doctors and be Like why is she not eating? The doctors would be like just leave her. She’s gonna wanna eat at some point like give her her time Don’t force it and then my mum was like, okay and she went home and she told the other aunts that. Now if you are a middle-eastern person I’m sure that you’ll be able to relate that the aunts and uncles and other family members Have a big say in your life and they are basically like no you cannot starve your baby You must force her to eat at all times. My mom was a very young woman So she was really influenced by that. And so that began my complicated situation with food throughout my childhood It’s always been like your are thin and you have to eat so food has always been like a chore. It’s never been like Oh, it’s a treat. I love food. I want to eat food. It’s always been like oh my god. I have to eat Oh You know? It’s always been kind of like I have to do the dishes and I have to Hoover and I have to eat like it was literally like a chore I really really as a child hated eating just because there was such a focus on me eating it became this whole obsession People would be watching me eat and I remember as a child there were many times where I threw up from overeating things like tomatoes And eggs and to this day. I can’t enjoy eggs I’m kind of trying to get back into eggs but they were always seen as like a really protein rich food like you have to eat this protein rich food and I was like I really hate this food and then like I throw up and actually it’s really disgusting but bear in mind I was seven years old There was actually times where my dad would give me an egg to eat and it’ll be taking me so long but he would like leave and then I would go into my bedroom and throw it under the bed and I shared a bedroom with two siblings. I was obviously not fun for anyone and then around this time I was also getting weighed every week and it was ah It was the worst Because my dad would weigh me and he would weigh my brother and he’d be like your brother’s younger than you Why is he putting on weight more than you and your cousin weighs this much and this person weighs this much Why are you not putting on weight when you make food into something that’s like so forced and so focused Especially as a child, you don’t want to do it. You don’t want to eat. So I as a child. I really hated food I didn’t want to eat at all and that kind of changed only when I became older and I moved from Sweden with my dad to England with my mum by the time I moved to my mum it had been like four years since I’ve actually like lived with my mum and So I feel like maybe that was a problem that she just forgotten about because I became more in control of what I could eat I began eating like a normal person So when I moved to England, I completely stopped eating the way I had as a child aka being really forced to eat and eating is like this big chore that I don’t want to do to like oh I like this food. Now I wanna eat this food and right now I’m hungry, so I’m gonna eat this food I was really excited to go grocery shopping because I loved picking out like all the puddings and things like that that I wanted to to eat and so things were looking up with that but being weighed every week as a child and being told off for not putting on weight it like does something to you you Know like you you start to be like, oh my god. There’s something wrong with me because I’m not putting on weight so when I was around 15 and all the other girls around me were like Maturing and I was like the only one who was still looking like a child I was getting a little bit like upset and I was starting to get a little bit obsessed with putting on weight so I Remember there was a summer when I was 15 I’ve touched on this before but I just don’t explain to those who haven’t heard this story There was a summer when I was 15 where like literally every single day I ate one whole chocolate cake like a whole Family sized. I mean a small family made them for four people or like I don’t know but it was like a full cake I wouldn’t even slice it I would just grab a spoon and just dig in and I would eat a whole pack of like 14 pieces of bacon and it was like the streaky kind of bacon with like Lots of fat and stuff and at that point I was weighing myself every day because I was like I have to put on weight Yeah I really wanted like boobs and butt and so what I saw around me all the time was like boys like boobs and boys don’t Wants skinny disgusting girls, who look like twigs and oh my gosh, we’re gonna break you if I hug you too hard You know and obviously when you’re 14, the only thing that matters is what boys like cuz you’re 14 I just remember looking in the mirror around that time and Being like oh like I still look like a child and no one’s gonna be attracted to someone who looks like this but it’s okay because I’m gonna put on weight and I’m gonna get boobs And it’s gonna be great and when I have boobs and a butt I’m gonna be so happy and so around the people would always be like are you eating are you eating are you eating which? Brought back this whole like obsession with me eating which I hated I really hate this obsession around like how much I’m eating when people ask me what my diet is Literally 100% I eat what I want when I want. No one can tell me what to eat it’s really like I have to be hungry if I’m eating and I have to really want to eat what I’m eating so I follow Absolutely no diet I 100% just listen to my body and that’s the only way that I’m able to regulate myself now cuz as a child It’s always been like this is what you have to eat and you have to finish it and if you don’t finish it You’re a bad child and we’re gonna weigh you and you’re not gonna happen to put on any weight and it’s gonna be really bad and all your uncles and aunts are gonna say that we’re not feeding you There was literally a point in my life, oh because I worked at McDonald’s. Oh my gosh, that was the worst First of all, I worked at McDonald’s for one year and in that one year I was working McDonald’s maybe like three four times in a week and that means that three four times in a week I was eating a full McDonald’s meal because they would give it to us for free during one of our breaks For a year, I ate McDonald’s three four times a week Right, and I still didn’t put on any weight Like I’m not making this up a lot of people when I tell them like I’m naturally skinny. They’re just like that’s not a thing and I don’t understand how they could not believe it’s a thing because It’s just accepted like some people naturally have dark hair Some people are naturally tall some people naturally have green eyes, and that’s fine. And that’s normal but when it comes to like some people are naturally chubby and some people are naturally skinny somehow people don’t believe that and I don’t Understand why they don’t believe that and yeah while I was working at McDonald’s You don’t know how many jokes I got like well maybe you should eat one of those burgers from my customers. And I’m like I can’t say anything. I’m just like uh-huh So while I worked at McDonald’s literally every single day people would ask me about my weight So it’s literally always been like I can literally eat anything and I stay the same way I cannot eat and I still say the same weight and of course I’ve been to doctors many many times Because people are like, why don’t you go see a doctor? I’m like I have seen a doctor I’ve seen a doctor many times many many times. They’ve taken blood tests. Everything comes back normal There’s nothing wrong with me and that’s something that I’ve taken a really time to realize like there’s nothing wrong with me so please because I know that I’m gonna get some comments like if you eat this and if you like this if you like this then you’ll put on weight and I’m like I’ve tried so hard to come to terms with my weight being the way it is And I’ve tried so hard to accept the fact that I will not be curvy and have big boobs at least not for now Maybe when I’m older. I’ll put on weight about comments. I get a lot of people disguised their comments I was like we mean well, we’re worried about you. Maybe you have an eating disorder So we just want to check on you think of it this way when you comment on someone’s picture like you look really skinny. With a little like sideways face. Like she’s really thin She looks sick and you’re not really helping anything because here are some of the circumstances A) I’m naturally skinny and you’re just telling me that I look like a sick person which it hurts my feelings honestly It does I don’t like it Or B) I do have an eating disorder and you telling me that I looked thin would maybe even make me feel encouraged I don’t know what it’s like to have an eating disorder. There are people who around sick people who are trying to help them and As a person on the internet what you can actually do is unfortunately very limited. So, please try to be sensitive It’s not nice to ask someone how much they weigh Oh, yeah I will not tell anyone how much I weigh on the internet because I don’t want people to look at my weight and think of it as like their goal weight, so to sum up all of the questions that I get No, I’m not sick. I don’t have a particular diet I will not tell you how much I weigh please stop asking and that’s pretty much it I think I’ve pretty much touched everything. So yeah, I don’t have an eating disorder right now in my life I’m very happy with my body and I’m getting a lot more confident with myself in general I’m just feeling a lot more confident as a teenager. I felt really really bad about myself but now I kind of come to realize that this is just how my body is and I just need to accept it and I’ve been feeling pretty good about myself. I always Wanted to have a curvy feminine body, and I’ve always been Really- I mean to this day I find that to be just really like attractive and pretty And I just it’s hard for me to understand what people are like I’m so chubby like It’s so like ugly because I think it’s so cute I think that people think that Chubby, or like fat is automatically ugly and skinny automatically means beautiful and they’re not they’re like separate words and you can be skinny and ugly or fat and beautiful and everything in between and it’s all like perspective and it’s all about how someone sees you so Don’t feel bad about your weight If you are someone who’s overweight and you are struggling with your weight And you feel bad about yourself. Take me as Someone who’s always been skinny and was never happy with their weight as an example that it doesn’t matter what you weigh You will always be ready to feel bad for it because that’s what the media wants you to because they want you to buy things Yep, I think I’ve touched everything. Thank you guys so much for watching Don’t forget to hit like and subscribe and let me know in the comments, please. Kindly what you think of this subject So yeah, thank you very much for watching bye!