WHEN THE FAT GIRL GETS SKINNY: The Short Film

WHEN THE FAT GIRL GETS SKINNY: The Short Film


the year of skinny pop and sugar free jello
cups we guzzled vitamin water and vodka toasting to high school and survival
complimenting each others collarbones trying diets we found on the internet: menthol cigarettes
eating in front of a mirror donating blood. replacing meals with other practical hobbies
like making flower crowns or fainting wondering why I haven’t had my period in months
why breakfast tastes like giving up or how many more productive ways I could have
spent my time today besides googling the calories in the glue
of a US envelope watching America’s Next Top Model like the
gospel hunching naked over a bathroom scale shrine
crying into an empty bowl of cocoa puffs because I only feel pretty
when I’m hungry If you are not recovering,
you are dying. By the time I was sixteen, I had already experienced
being clinically overweight, underweight, and obese. As a child, Fat was the first word people
used to describe me, which didn’t offend me until I found out
it was supposed to. When I lost weight, my dad was so proud
he started carrying my before-and-after photo in his wallet. so relieved he could stop worrying about me
getting diabetes. he saw a program on the news about the epidemic
with obesity says he is just so glad to finally see me
taking care of myself. If you develop an eating disorder when you
are already thin to begin with, you go to the hospital. If you develop an eating disorder when you
are not thin to begin with, you are a success story. So when I evaporated, of course
everyone congratulated me on getting healthy. Girls at school who never spoke to me before stopped me in the hallway to ask how I did it. I say, I am sick. They say
No, you’re an inspiration. How could I not fall in love with my illness? With becoming the kind of silhouette
people are supposed to fall in love with? Why would I ever want to stop being hungry when anorexia was the most interesting thing about me? So how lucky it is, now, to be boring
The way not going to the hospital is boring. The way looking at an apple and seeing only
an apple, not sixty or half an hour of sit-ups is boring. My story may not be as exciting as it used
to, but at least there is nothing left to count. The calculator in my head finally stopped. I used to love the feeling of drinking
water on an empty stomach waiting for the coolness to slip
all the way down and land in the well, not obsessed with being empty
but afraid of being full. I used to take pride in being able to feel
cold in a warm room. Now, I am proud I have stopped seeking revenge
on this body. This was the year of eating when I was hungry
without punishing myself and I know it sounds ridiculous, but that
shit is hard. When I was little, someone asked me
what I wanted to be when I grew up, and I said “small.”

100 thoughts on “WHEN THE FAT GIRL GETS SKINNY: The Short Film

  1. How she's trying to open the door, and it's locked, reminds me of how she may be trapped by their eating disorder, and how she can't escape it.

  2. Well people judge us based on our appearances but if being overweight doesn't bother you then it's OK we are not born to please other if they want to see barbie dolls then that's their problem not mine

  3. well my case was the opposite..o was soooo skinny no clothes looked good on me..every said eat more..and i ate more and gained weight and they said u are getting fat…i have up pleasing others…now i go to gym and lift weights to have more muscle the way i like it.

  4. I always been thin always and in some point of my life I start getting weight and I remember been at the doctor at the age of 12 and the doctor calling me fat (and I’m 1.53 and in that point I was 53kg ) and I remember that in that moment everything change, everything.
    I start loosing weight and my friend ( she was a queen bee) start telling me that I was becoming a really pretty girl and so I stop eating just like that I’m 16 now and everything I eat something I still want to cry or just vomit(? the food but I’m getting weight and still I’m feeling fat even in the time that I was 39kg i cry because I was feeling fat and I don’t know seen this type of things make me realize how bad I was and how we need to change that .

  5. This is to real. As I child I was a tad bit over weight but really not much I had a jelly belly and thicker legs but that’s it. As I’ve grown up I’ve developed anxiety and depression from trauma and I started to eat when I was sad. When I have depressive episodes I don’t eat then after I recover I think ‘I should eat lots now bc I didn’t eat for a week’ and my weight kept fluctuating. I started getting bullied for my weight as my body had naturally stored fat as I grew. Once my growth slowed down I started losing weight because my body wasn’t asking for as much food. The weight that was stored went to my boobs and butt. Keep in mind I was a very early bloomer I had d cup boobs in grade 6. Everyone told me how good I looked and how I looked older than the rest. You see I can’t take compliment because my greatest fear is attention due to my social anxiety. So I desperately tried to loose weight and it got to the point where I would only eat if I was being watched by others and forced to eat. As I lost weight I started to look like a sixth grader again my boobs and butt had shrunken severely and I looked like everyone else. After doing this for about three months I’ve stumbled upon pro anorexia websites and I realized what i was doing to myself. I reached out for help and have made a full recovery. My current weight is 143.5 lbs and I love my body. To anybody struggling with an eating disorder or body positivity I just want you to know that you have to change your mindset and not your body. Take care and love yourself.

  6. I'm afraid of eat.
    I have big breakfast (usually oats with half of a banana and milk, and sometimes I have an egg too), I have normal lunches (some protein with potato or rice or pasta and veggis) and my dinners usually are rice cakes or wraps with avocado or eggs or cheese or something else. Sometimes I have snacks, like fruit or rice cakes with peanut butter.

    But, I'm afraid to put a whole banana insted of half in my oats. I'm afraid of cook my egg with oil. I'm afraid of pasta or rice, so I prefer eat a lot of veggis and just a bit of rice/pasta (sometimes I just don't eat them). I'm afraid of cook with "too much oil" or salt. I'm afraid of putting oil to my salad. I'm afraid of eating bread at dinner (the most common dinner in my country). I'm afraid of eating as snack the ice cream I got a month ago.
    I'm afraid of eating a piece of my birthday cake because I eat 2 pieces yesterday.

    I eat. I have a good weigth (53 kilos, 1.60 meters), but I'm not well. I eat healthy but I'm not healthy.

  7. wait rlly? is having collarbones an only skinnies thing? when I was overweight I had collarbones tho

  8. “I used to take pride on being able to feel cold in a warm room”.

    Shit. I’m on that train right now and it’s scary.

  9. The hardest thing is, is that my family call me fat and expect me not to get offended. I’ve started losing weight quickly, little do they know I don’t eat, and I all I do is exercise.

  10. i’ve suffered from an eating disorder for three years, i thought i was better but it turns out i’m worse than ever before. i want to tell my parents, to get help, but this whole time i haven’t lost enough to be considered underweight. i’m worrried i’m not sick enough. not sick enough to be healthy.

  11. “When a thin girl gets an eating disorder she is sent to the hospital”

    “When a fat girl gets an eating disorder she is an inspiration”

    This has to be one of the deepest quotes for me.

  12. When i was noticeably thin i had an eating disorder everyone was in awe after my 3rd child i gained 40 pounds and at 5'7 i was 180 …you get a lot of hate and sarcasm like…" Oh it happens to everyone "..and from people that themselves were not thin out of nowhere you know and even as grown ups and men you criticize and want to compare us to when we were in high school are you freakn serious people are so stupid its just gotten to the point where i just rather no one talk to me ive taken that hate and been working out for a year now not seeing results until i had to cut down to about a 1, ooo calorie diet but im doing it for me for my health and happiness but still if i wasnt who should care grow up

  13. You are fantastic. This really overpowered all of my emotions and it has left me so crushed, speechless, empty. But it also enriched me with hope in the most astounding shocking way.
    I don’t think I can express how well this video transmitted what my words will never be able to.

  14. It’s sad that I remember every person who has called me fat. It still haunts me to this day. People still comment on my weight when I feel at my best then I look in the mirror and think they are right.

  15. YouTube, thanks for recommending this to me, but this won't stop me from eating less and irregularly everyday.

    Inspirational video by the way. 🙂 I felt it.

  16. I last year i started developing an eating disorder. And i have been over weighted, obese, and now, if i loose two. Pounds more i will become underweighted, every day i look sicker, but everyone tells me that every day i am prittier. Now i dont have boobs or ass, but i am thin right?. Yesterday i got my period back after two months, just beacouse i ate 1500 calories instead of 1200. I know that someday i will stop counting calories every second i am alive, but its hard, becouse now i get to participate in the thin People conversations wich just makese want to wieght less, even tough i weight less than every one there. Now guys look at me, and that is something i am afraid to loose it when i gain weight, now my dad isnt ashamed of me, and i am afraid to loose it. Well, for now ill be the miracle who lost 14 kilograms in 7 months, its okay, becouse now i look healty, altough i feel sick.
    But now that i am with my period ill probably eat donuts

  17. There was a time when I go to my friend's house her cousin said to me" dont move coz ur so heavy" when I ride with his bike. I was so embarrassed at that day and start hating myself more. I am 70kls and I'm seventeen

  18. I hate it.. because.. I can tell.. who really cares about me when they react with.. “hey are you ok?” Instead of “ oh wow you look great!”

  19. I dont like the f word. (fat) I prefer the word curvy. Who cares if your skinny or not?. As long as you are at a manageble weight it doesnt matter. I dont know why in society you have to skinny and have a tiny waist. As long as youre happy thats all that matters. Look at people not for their appearance but their personality!

  20. Vitamins water with vodka? Lol
    What is this?
    I use to be anorexic, i got to 98 pounds.
    It was never this dramatic….

  21. I have three more sisters and they were all skinny, except for me. I wasnt what you called fat but compared to them, i look fat. People often say that "among you 4, you are the fattest of them all". It hits me everytime.

    I am a 19y/o who weights 48kg. Before, I eat 6-8 cups of rice bcos I have a very active appetite and a high metabolism in that way I dont get fat. But I am always getting compared to my sisters.

    Recently, I noticed that I eat less than usual. 1 cup of rice afraid of adding more weight in my body. I began to feel conscious about my body too.

    Some say I have the ideal body of a 19y/o, some say I am fat and some say I look thin. Despite all of this, my mentality has been corrupted and I dont believe their words. The word "fat" was planted in my brain and I began doing unhealthy stuff.

  22. All in all, Respect your body which in turn also translates to respect and love yourself.

    You know subconciously or conciously if there's something wrong with your behaviour which contributes to something you do not feel happy about yourself.

    Do not focus on the words FAT or SKINNY/THIN but instead on health and feeling sexy with your own self. Work through those insecurities little by little but do not be too hard on your body because your body is also working very hard for you too (your heart, nerves, brain, etc). Respect it and help it.

    And also, outer beauty may attract people to you but it's always your heart that will make them stay and love you.

  23. My brother and his friends used to tease me about having large numbers on the scale. I know now that it was because I was 5’2 in fourth grade. They only meant to tease me, my brother wanted to make me tough for the real world. I actually found out that one of them had a crush on me. No one realized that I took every comment seriously, and that in a year I would starve myself to weigh less than the girls in my grade, who were all at least four inches shorter than me.

  24. Everyone of my family wants me to lose weight. Even my grandparents and they suggested that I have only three apples a day and nothing else. I certainly lost weight but I also fainted at my work lol

  25. This became more relatable than I realized it would be. Growing up I was overweight and eventually obese, then over the course of less than a year lost over 70 pounds. All the popular girls in school comment how good I look, some call me "skinny legend". I have indeed had many ask me what my secret was. Everyone kept telling me how good I looked until the weight loss didn't stop. It still isn't.

    I don't get as many compliments now, but I still do time to time. This is the first time I can ever say I'm at the lower end of a healthy weight- and it still isn't enough at this point.

  26. I had a lot of fat shamming growing up from my family and mean girls from school, it got to the point of feeling so bad about myself that I started not eating and when I did I felt heavy and threw it up I eventually got thin but I felt like crap all the time. I finally met my husband in 9th grade and he made me feel good about myself and as some of you may know when you throw up so many times you feel exhausted and even worse about yourself so I stopped and gained weight not enough to be unhealthy but I had a little tummy on me and he still made me feel perfect💕 sorry this was so long I just wanted to share my story😊

  27. to all the overweight girls out there who dont like their weight, please just diet and exercise. and dieting doesnt mean giving up the foods that you enjoy, it just means cutting back the portions of unhealthy foods and increasing the portions of healthy ones. it will take time, but dont destroy your body and health in pursuit of thinness

  28. Doctors say how you need some fat to live or that fat is a good thing to have.. What does our world of cruel people who thrive on hurting others say…

    " a thin body is attractive, you need to do whatever it takes"

    To this day I want to feel thin cause my friends are 40 lbs lighter then me but only 3 months younger than me. My friends talk about how thin they are and I always laugh it off like it's okay even though I am crying inside. This was so relatable and I was crying after watching this cause only "fat" people know this pain even though they are the only healthy people.

  29. I typed in fat into the YouTube search bar and the first thing to come up were exercises to lose fat, not even this vid…

    This is a world of hate and millions of people on the Internet are insecure cause of wanting to be " beautiful"

    They feel insecure about their
    Looks
    Body
    Thoughts
    Likings
    Dislikes
    What they eat
    What they want
    What they have

    Why is our world like this?…
    I wish I knew but I like to keep hope but I lose some every day

    Don't kill me but each like is how much I hope I can get back cause I lost alot

  30. FAT is just a simple word. But depending the way you said it that word, your actitud your tone. Then is when it hurts 🤕.

  31. Healthy and skinny are two seperate things. When healthy you will eventually lose the weight the way you're SUPPOSED TO, but even then it isn't the goal.

  32. Honestly it's not what others think of me. It's what I think of myself. I don't want you to see me how I see myself.

  33. I will never forget when I lost all my weight, and a guy said to my face, “dang girl, I should have paid more attention to you before you lost all that weight. Who knew you would become so hot being skinny.”
    I was in my witty mood that day and replied, “I am so glad I didn’t pay any attention to you before because I’m really not going to pay attention to you now knowing how shallow you are.”

  34. i watch this video every day. “if you are not recovering you are dying” makes me cry every time i hear it. i want help but im not ready. i hate this illness.

  35. I had an ulcer bc i skipped meals everyday to the point that everytime i eat i forced myself to throw up bc it is the only way to reduce my stomach pain when foods gets in it

  36. My friend call themselves fat, they aren’t even a bit fat and that hits me cause thst makes me feel even more fag

  37. No matter the amount of ‘inspirational’ books I’m given, no matter how many times I am told that I am beautiful, or worth it. No matter what somebody else, or SOMETHING else tries to teach me about how I should think of myself.
    The only damn person that can help me is myself, if I just want to waste my whole day lying in bed, feeling bad for myself. Draining all the life out of me and the people I surround myself with.
    I can sit there, and dwell on everything wrong in my life. Or I can try to change it, sitting there. Feeling bad for myself, pretending to try, but falling back to where I started, just because it’s easier than putting a smile on my face and worrying about the sake of others rather than dragging them into my darkness. I can keep worrying about tomorrow, but when there’s today right in front of me, I’m not going to stand back and wait till it’s over. I’m going to work really fucking hard and enjoy it, even though it might not be enjoyable. I’m going to face it head on, instead of doing what I always do, instead of letting it face ME head on.

  38. I cant tell how much it affects me. Worst part is that my best friends (3) never bodyshame me but my own family does. Specially my elder brother. Constantly reminding me of how far and ugly I am (it's a joke to him to make fun of me in front of other and evryone laughs, but it hurts me …it hurts my confidence ) I have been dealing with it since a long time now. In between I started to starve myself lost some weight and felt sick and everyone was like "you look pretty now , stay this way".. no one cared enuf to ask questions about my weight loss.. and eventually I gained some weight agn n all that bodyshaming is back. I feel ugly , my confidence is gone , I don't buy pretty dressed ,don't go out much
    ..it's affecting me a lot.

  39. Just start doing some sport and eat A BIT less and stop blaming world around you. It really isn't that hard.

  40. I just started to feel good about my body but a girl said to me "you are the fat girl in are class thats why your bf broke up w/ you"

  41. I was always the fat kid. I started trying to loose weight 7 months ago and I lost 40 pounds. My whole family asks how I did it and what I do and that I'm doing such a good job. If only they knew the amount of meals I've skipped and how many times I spent hunched in my shower trying to force myself to throw up and how many times I've weighed myself in a single day.

    I know I sound like a whiney attention seeker but I want people to know that people aren't always doing stuff the healthy way. Make sure someone is ACTUALLY HEALTHY before assuming just because they are loosing weight, they are healthy.
    I'm still trying to recover and teach myself how to loose weight a better way but it's so hard for me.

  42. Ouch…I wish I could get people around me to understand how close to relapsing into an eating disorder I truly am. But I was obese once, and have gotten heavy again, and of course, thin is better than healthy when you have weight to lose…they don't get the fear.

  43. i remember watching this a few years ago and not really understanding it. its so much more relatable now…

  44. And even when you lose weight and everyone starts to like you it makes no difference. Your doctor congratulates you on your weight loss and how healthy you are. Guys who never noticed you now ask you out to the movies or to a restaurant. Sure you laugh and smile throughout it all. But when you're in your room at the end of the day laying in bed you realize how lonely you are and how, even though everyone loves you, you can't help but hate yourself so much and feel such an aching pain on the inside with no explanation. And every compliment and every flirt you feel cuts deeper into your skin. And its horrying feeling that way. It makes you feel more empty than you already feel after not eating.

  45. I remember watching this video In 2015, I was younger and I didn’t really understand a lot of it. but I loved the video. Now 4 years later I understand. I am currently suffering from a ED, I finally get it, and I wish I didn’t.

  46. This is so true.
    I’m bigger and my husband knows that I have an eating disorder. I recovered….I gained.

    Now I’m losing weight due to my ED and all I get is a congrats……

  47. Wow, that was so spot on with depicting the struggle people with ED's have; it brought tears to my eyes. You are so brave

  48. We've added your beautiful film to our July watchlist. Follow us on TW @MicroManiaF – we'll follow right back

  49. when i was in 5th grade, i was trying on a dress for my sisters birthday party. when i stepped out, my dad looked at me and said "you would look prettier if you were skinnier."

  50. Even when I was at my thinnest, i was still bigger than the other girls cause that's just how i'm built. and then it was fine. Now…i can't lose weight unless i basically starve myself. No clue why it wont come off. Dont know how many times i have been told what a pretty face i have, if only…. yeah if only.

  51. This video is actually what I gone through and it's still hidden somewhere inside. I totally cried watching this because I couldn't relate more..if you suffer too I just want to say beauty comes in all shapes and sizes. Don't let a measuring scale decide you're lifestyle and happiness..because you're beautiful

  52. it makes me sad that i relate to this. why can’t i just look the way i want to look? why do i have to hate looking in the mirror before i get into the shower? why do i have to cancel all my summer plans because i cant wear a bathing suit without crying? why can’t i look at some other girls instagram picture without immediately comparing my body to theirs? why do i have to starve myself to feel better about myself? why can my friends eat anything & still look good while if i even touch a bag of chips i gain weight? i don’t want to live in the body i have. weight is everything i think about. i always wonder what it’s like to be able to sit next to people & not have to worry about if i look fat. & the thing is, i’m not “fat” , im just not skinny.. & i wish i was

  53. You were sick before, and you are sick now. But while before you were overeating and being fat and unhealthy (and yes, being fat is extremely unhealthy) now you are starving yourself. Stop this pity party, get some counceling for your mental disorder and go to a dietitian.

  54. I wish I could eat an apple and don't see just the numbers. Don't eat the numbers instead of food. Where are these careless days?

  55. Why would I ever stop wanting to be hungry when anorexia was the most interesting thing about me? …. When I was little and someone asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up I said, “Small”.

    Those words tell more about why almost 15 years later I still refuse to let go of the disorder that has tried to kill me more than once.

  56. I'm so worried about my sister. I have been severely anorexic and the doctors warned my parents that the same could happen to my sister. That was a long time ago now. She is very stressed in school and she has no good contact with our father, who she hasn't seen in years. I think she feels ill but she has never talked to someone about it. Soon she is about to graduate high school and she seems so different. She used to be over weight and bullied for it but she has lost so much weight. And she wasnt even severly over weight to begin with.

    Also, she has started to wear oversized clothes. When she takes them off I can see she looks so much smaller. But I am afraid to tell her cause I dont want to trigger anything. Her friends talk about losing weight all the time and don't want to eat. She complains about food in school says it doesn't taste good. She exercise one hour at least three times a week, fat burning high intensity classes that I cant even think of doing. The title of these are like "fat burning 600 calories in one hour". She never used to exercise, almost nothing, now she does it all the time.

    She has also never had a boyfriend. I am afraid she feels like she has to be super thin just to be liked. This is just so sad 🙁 I don't know what to do. It feels as if she pressures herself. My mother doesn't understand. She says "oh I think she just wants to be healthy, she wants to fit in those jeans, get smaller thighs and not get diabetes, the doctors warned us about it before". Like yes, she has been overweight but not severly. My older sister says "whats wrong with her wanting to lose some pounds".

    And everyone thinks I am weird and crazy for worrying this much. My sister says "you can't blame me for thinking this is sooo fun, maybe you think exercise is not but I think and I think you cannot blame anyone for that", but I feel as if something is strange. I dont think its out of "fun" she is doing these very tough high intensity passes 1 hour each…. I remember the day she just decided to start exercising. At first, she started out with 25 minutes, now its 1 hour the toughest class all the time. I am so worried. at instagram she follows people who has been anorexic or who shows their thin bodies (not anorexic thing but still the "ideal" very thin model body). She is also very self critic and have told before that sometimes she thinks of things that she tells no one about.

    Today I found a note where she had written about how much she should exercise every week and written all the days like a scheme. This may not be strange but I dont know. The thing is she looks very much to me and it feels like she wants to hide something because she is very defensive in everything and it feels as if she is trying to control what i do and eat, as if she is trying to project all her bad routines on me.

    What should I do?I'm so worried about my sister. I have been severely anorexic and the doctors warned my parents that the same could happen to my sister. That was a long time ago now. She is very stressed in school and she has no good contact with our father, who she hasn't seen in years. I think she feels ill but she has never talked to someone about it. Soon she is about to graduate high school and she seems so different. She used to be over weight and bullied for it but she has lost so much weight. And she wasnt even severly over weight to begin with.

    Also, she has started to wear oversized clothes. When she takes them off I can see she looks so much smaller. But I am afraid to tell her cause I dont want to trigger anything. Her friends talk about losing weight all the time and don't want to eat. She complains about food in school says it doesn't taste good. She exercise one hour at least three times a week, fat burning high intensity classes that I cant even think of doing. The title of these are like "fat burning 600 calories in one hour". She never used to exercise, almost nothing, now she does it all the time.

    She has also never had a boyfriend. I am afraid she feels like she has to be super thin just to be liked. This is just so sad 🙁 I don't know what to do. It feels as if she pressures herself. My mother doesn't understand. She says "oh I think she just wants to be healthy, she wants to fit in those jeans, get smaller thighs and not get diabetes, the doctors warned us about it before". Like yes, she has been overweight but not severly. My older sister says "whats wrong with her wanting to lose some pounds".

    And everyone thinks I am weird and crazy for worrying this much. My sister says "you can't blame me for thinking this is sooo fun, maybe you think exercise is not but I think and I think you cannot blame anyone for that", but I feel as if something is strange. I dont think its out of "fun" she is doing these very tough high intensity passes 1 hour each…. I remember the day she just decided to start exercising. At first, she started out with 25 minutes, now its 1 hour the toughest class all the time. I am so worried. at instagram she follows people who has been anorexic or who shows their thin bodies (not anorexic thing but still the "ideal" very thin model body). She is also very self critic and have told before that sometimes she thinks of things that she tells no one about.

    Today I found a note where she had written about how much she should exercise every week and written all the days like a scheme. This may not be strange but I dont know. The thing is she looks very much to me and it feels like she wants to hide something because she is very defensive in everything and it feels as if she is trying to control what i do and eat, as if she is trying to project all her bad routines on me.

    What should I do?

  57. "Girls in the hallway way asked me how I did it, I say I'm sick. They say no you're an inspiration" I cant describe how much that means to me

  58. I’m kind of feeling like this. I’m 5’8 and was 130lbs before I got pregnant. A year after having my daughter I was still 175 and was over exercising and eating 1200 cal but it didn’t work. Went to a doctor and found out I have an unusually slow metabolism and a few other issues that make it hard to lose weight. I was prescribed a 900 calorie diet with 6 days of exercise. It was fine at first and I was losing weight, but I started getting too dizzy and too low energy so I couldn’t workout. I dropped my calories to 700 to make up for it. Then to 500. And now I fast for a couple days, eat a 500-600 calorie meal and then fast for another couple days. I’m panicking over social functions and having to eat something without knowing the calories. Everyone is super proud of my weight-loss (20lbs in a month so far) and when I call my mom and tell her I haven’t ate in over a day she says “good job!”. I know it’s starting to spiral out of control and I know I’m not losing weight the healthy way but it’s like a high seeing the number drop and having everyone tell me how good I’m looking. I don’t want anymore kids because I’m so scared of gaining weight again, but my fiancé says by next year he wants to. I want to get skinny and stay there for as long as possible so it’s less likely I gain too much weight. For me to maintain my weight I can only eat 1400 calories and when you’re breastfeeding you can’t eat under 1500 which is literally gaining weight for me. Sorry this was all over the place it was kind of just my thought process. I’m stressed about this all of the time but I’d rather be skinny and I don’t know how much of a problem it’s turning into

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