Warning: This Footage May Disturb All Humans

Warning: This Footage May Disturb All Humans


FRIENDS, LIKE A LOT OF
YOU, I STRUGGLE TO KEEP FIT AND EAT RIGHT. SADLY, I RECENTLY LEARNED THAT
COOL RANCH IS NOT A VEGETABLE. ALL I ASK IS A WAY TO TAKE OFF
THE POUNDS WITHOUT EXERCISING OR CHANGING WHAT I EAT OR HOW MUCH
OF IT I EAT. OTHER THAN THAT, I’M WILLING TO
DO ANYTHING. WELL, ANYTHING HAS FINALLY
ARRIVED, AND IT’S CALLED “ASPIRE ASSIST.”>>THE ASPIRE ASSIST WORKS BY
REMOVING A PORTION OF THE FOOD THROUGH A TUBE IN
THE STOMACH BEFORE IT IS ABSORBED. YOUR DOCTOR WILL INSERT A
NEEDLE THROUGH YOUR SKIN TO YOUR STOMACH. AFTER A MEAL, FOOD TRAVELS TO
THE STOMACH, WHERE IT IS TEMPORARILY STORED AND
DIGESTION BEGINS. WHEN THE LEVER IS ROTATED,
STOMACH CONTENTS BEGIN TO EMPTY INTO THE TOILET.>>Stephen: I’M SORRY. I FORGOT TO PUT IN THE WARNING
BEFORE THAT FOOTAGE. I SHOULD HAVE SAID, “WARNING:
THIS FOOTAGE MAY DISTURB PEOPLE– JUST PEOPLE.” ( LAUGHTER )
I’M PRETTY IMPRESSED. THAT’S MACHINE-ASSISTED
ABDOMINAL VOMITING. WHAT A TIME SAVER. ONCE YOUR DOCTOR INSTALLS THE
ASPIRE ASSIST, THE TUBE EXITS YOUR ABDOMEN THROUGH WHAT
THE FOLKS AT ASPIRE CALL A SKIN PORT. BECAUSE THAT SOUNDS A LOT BETTER
THAN PIZZA DRAIN. ( LAUGHTER )
AND IT’S CONVENIENTLY SMALL. ACCORDING TO THE FOLKS AT SPIRE
THE PORT IS “POKER CHIP SIZED.” BECAUSE YOU JUST WALKED INTO THE
WEIGHT-LOSS CASINO, AND YOU’RE BETTING IT ALL ON A SLOT MACHINE
IN YOUR RIBCAGE. THIS MIGHT BE A LIFE-SAVING
PROCEEDURE FOR PEOPLE WITH NO OTHER OPTIONS, BUT SO FAR,
MANY PATIENTS ARE ENJOYING THEIR CHEST-MOUNTED BARF-BOT SO MUCH,
THEY SAY THEY WANT TO KEEP IT FOREVER.>>70% OF PATIENTS WERE PLEASED
ENOUGH WITH THE RESULTS THAT THEY ASKED TO KEEP THE TUBE IN
INDEFINITELY.>>Stephen: THAT’S RIGHT, A FULL
70% OF PATIENTS SAID, “THANK YOU FOR TEARING ME A NEW ONE.” ( LAUGHTER )
AND SOME OF ASPIRE’S CUSTOMERS HAVE COMPLETELY BOUGHT INTO THE
ASPIRE LIFESTYLE, WITH ONE SAYING, “IF I HAVE TO CONTINUE
TO FLUSH MY STOMACH EVERY DAY OR EVERY OTHER DAY, SO BE IT.” I CAN DRINK MY BEER OR WINE IF I
WANT TO, AND THEN I CAN JUST LET GO OF 30%. WOW, THAT PATIENT REALLY DRANK
THE ASPIRE KOOL-AID, THEN QUICKLY PUMPED IT INTO THE
TOILET. ( LAUGHTER )
THE APSIRE WAS DEVELOPED BY A TEAM OF DOCTORS AND DEAN KAMEN,
INVENTOR OF THE SEGWAY. FOR SOME REASON, TAKING LONG
WALKS ON SEGWAYS ISN’T HELPING PEOPLE LOSE WEIGHT. I DON’T UNDERSTAND! LAYOFF LAUGH BUT SURPRISINGLY,
THERE IS ONE MAJOR DOWNSIDE TO THE ASPIRE ASSIST. ACCORDING TO ONE PATIENT, “YOU
HAVE TO BE WILLING TO CHEW YOUR FOOD.” WHAT! WHAT! COME ON! CHEW MY FOOD?! BUT THAT’LL WASTE VALUABLE TIME
I COULD BE EATING! THAT’S WHY I’M INTRODUCING MY
OWN REVOLUTIONARY, NEW SURGICALLY-ASSISTED DIET
PRODUCT: STEPHEN COLBERT’S ESOPHAGORGE! THE MOST POSSIBLY SAFE
WEIGHT-LOSS SYSTEM THAT LETS YOU EAT WHATEVER YOU WANT, HOWEVER
YOU WANT, AS LONG AS IT’S EXACTLY LIKE THIS. HERE’S HOW IT WORKS:
FIRST, OUR ESOPHAGORGE NUTRI-SURGEONS CUT A HOLE IN THE
BASE OF YOUR SKULL THE SIZE OF A NOBEL PRIZE FOR MEDICINE, GIVING
YOUR FOOD A DIRECT CHANNEL FROM THE OPENING OF YOUR MOUTH OUT
THE BACK OF YOUR HEAD. AND DON’T WORRY ABOUT MAKING A
MESS BECAUSE THE ESOPHAGORGE ALSO COMES WITH A CONVENIENT
NECK HOPPER. IT’S THE LATEST IN BARBERSHOP
SINK TECHNOLOGY, WITH THE ADDED COMFORT OF CARRYING IT AROUND
ALL THE TIME. THE ESPOPHAGORGE HANDY DIET ROD
THEN SCREWS INTO YOUR SPINE, ALLOWING FOR A PLEASANT
15-DEGREE TILT. AND NOW THAT YOU’RE IMMOBILE,
THE CONVENIENCE REALLY BEGINS. SIMPLY USE THE ESOPHAGORGE’S
PATENTED NUTRI-SCOOP TO CYCLE THE CONTENTS OF THE NECK HOPPER
BACK INTO YOUR FACE HOLE THROUGH THE WELLNESS FUNNEL, COMPLETING
THE HOAGIE CYCLE, AND MELTING AWAY THE POUNDS.>>AHH! AND THE BEST PART IS, YOU KNOW
IT’S ALL YOUR FAVORITE FOODS, BECAUSE YOU’VE ALREADY EATEN
THEM. ESOPHAGORGE: NO DIET. NO EXERCISE. NO TEETH REQUIRED.

100 thoughts on “Warning: This Footage May Disturb All Humans

  1. how low of dignity and self respect do you have to be to use or even invent that. disgusting low life scum. please kill urself.

  2. This doesn't disturb me, however I feel it should only be used in medically imperative circumstances, with that said it is necessary to teach children how to eat healthily as it's quite hard to change the lifestyle of a person who has had a high fat diet for so many years.

  3. Would sell well in Hunger Games' Capital! Wow, is that really what Western culture has become? Wait, yes, it is, on so many levels.

  4. do people get the nutrients that they need in there bodies by doing this???

  5. EXCELLENT WORK!
    Visual and Audio are not properly synced.
    WE The People already have enough going on.
    Please, do not force us to question our sanity while peacefully laughing.
    Thank You!
    NEVERMIND.
    It's my home internet connection.
    It's perfectly synced on my cell phone.
    #IAmAVictimOfDomesticViolence
    #IAmAustraRaneeMcCantsWest
    Sometimes, #KidsKantKryout

  6. The fuck!!!?????? Eat fiber for the love of God! Have a friggin' grapefruit!! Stick a finger down your throat!!! Surgery is a big deal folks … Goddamn …..

  7. "Why does the rest of the world either laugh at us, hate us or look down on us Americans?"
    "Here, look at this. This explains why."
    "But thatยดs a mirror?"
    "Yes. Exactly."

  8. OMG ๐Ÿ˜ฎI think it would be helpful for those who need to lose weight quickly due to deteriorating health, as Stephen pointed out. But, only in that instance. Weight loss surgery helped me so much and Iโ€™ve changed my diet to healthier foods and try to get some exercise. ๐Ÿค“

  9. Rome – people would attend social gatherings, drink and eat until they forced themselves to vomit and would continue stuffing

    Modern day western civilization (Not just the u.s. you leftist lime cunts)- drink until you throw up and eat until you twist a little valve.

    I'm sure theres no parallel between the 2 declining civilizations.

  10. This is honestly encouraging bulimia and other eating disorders and it's disgusting that it would be approved for actual marketing. >.<

  11. this is the bullshit murica is always looking for while other countries are fucking starving, eating rats. thanx

  12. Three years ago how innocent we were talking about stomach drains… Now everyday it's some Trump stupidity.

  13. I just lost weight by watching this…on my lunch break ๐Ÿคข๐Ÿคข๐Ÿคข Thanks Aspire tube!!!

  14. Think of the lives that could be saved by the esophogorge when wives try to poison their husbands. Actually that could be in the tens of Millions. Actually that's probably why Steve invented it.

  15. Ooooooo… I am just going to whip some cream now… and perhaps to get a glass of wine or a bottle… And I am going to enjoy it to the fullest.

  16. Such incredible ignorance here – has ANYONE actually researched this option at all?? It's not bulimia in any way, it's far safer than bariatric surgery options, it's performed in exactly the same outpatient setting and process as the insertion of feeding tubes (which has been safely done for many, many decades), and it costs a small fraction of surgical options. And it's fully and easily reversible, like feeding tube removals and unlike the most common surgical options.

    It's clear that Stephen (who I love) just got off on the "Ewwww!!" response that is so common among folks who are NOT obese and who have not had their lives seriously impacted by being so overweight. If you talk to folks who are as obese as the ones for whom this has been developed (BMI > 35), the AspireAssist has been life-changing from a social and a health perspective.

    If you feel you have to consider surgical options, or they've been recommended for you, I'd suggest you check out Aspire.

  17. Americans are terrifyingly unwilling to actually make a single change to their diets even for fucking health reasons. WTF?

  18. ๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘
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    ๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ”๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ—๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘
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    ๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ—๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ˜๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘
    ๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ”๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ—๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ’๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ˜๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘
    ๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ”๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ–๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘
    ๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ˜๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘
    ๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ—๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘
    ๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ—๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘
    ๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ˜๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘
    ๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘
    ๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘
    ๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘
    ๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ’๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ˜๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘
    ๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ”๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘
    ๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ“๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ˜๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘
    ๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ’๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ˜๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘
    ๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ“๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ–๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘
    ๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ’๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ˜๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘
    ๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ”๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ–๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘
    ๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ”๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘
    ๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ”๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ–๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘
    ๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ–๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘
    ๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘
    ๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘
    ๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘
    ๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ’๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘
    ๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘
    ๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ“๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ—๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ”๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ—๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘
    ๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ”๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ˜๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ“๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ–๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘
    ๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ’๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘
    ๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ˜๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ’๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘
    ๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ”๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ˜๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ’๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘
    ๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ“๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ—๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ“๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ–๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘
    ๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ’๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ˜๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘
    ๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ“๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ˜๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘
    ๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘
    ๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘
    ๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘
    ๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ’๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ˜๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘
    ๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ”๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘
    ๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ“๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ˜๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘
    ๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ’๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ˜๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘
    ๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ“๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ–๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘
    ๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ’๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ˜๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘
    ๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ”๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ–๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘
    ๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ”๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘
    ๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ”๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ–๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘
    ๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ–๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘
    ๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘
    ๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘
    ๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘
    ๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ’๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘
    ๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘
    ๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ“๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ—๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ”๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ—๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘
    ๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ”๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ˜๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ“๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ–๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘
    ๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ’๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘
    ๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ˜๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ’๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘
    ๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ”๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ˜๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ’๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘
    ๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ“๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ—๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ“๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ–๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘
    ๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ’๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ˜๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘
    ๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ“๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ˜๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘
    ๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘

  19. Reminds me of the pleasure of eating without worrying about any consequences. Maybe they can develop a "condom" for digestive purposes so that what you eat goes into a bag that passes through your body and does not let the food get absorbed. So you get all the pleasures of tasting and eating the food and none of the consequences ( kind of like "safe sex").

  20. I agree that this is one of the funniest, yet absurd and saddest, reports I've seen. This surgical procedure sounds like an SNL parody; but I still laughed so hard.

  21. One thing that bothered me (only one thing??) is medicine seems to make so many excuses for people that lack self-control and personal responsibility. Maybe I should have more sympathy, but I just can't. Addicts are addicts, whatever their poison. My family is full of addicts: food, alcohol, drugs etc. I chose not to be an addict because I hated what I saw as a profound weakness.

  22. A country with an overwhelming number of obese people would come up with something like this, yet on the other side of the planet it's leaders assist a corrupt regime in its systematic starvation of a third country that it (laughingly) feels threatens it's existance.

  23. It's so sad that people in this country have the option to over eat while people in other countries are starving.

  24. Surgically assisted bulimia. If you do it yourself, you get psych hospitalized, but paying surgeons gets a pass?

  25. Great for keeping your teeth, though. Stomach acid destroys dentition. A full 70%? Iโ€™m morbidly obese, but come on! The Esophogorge is brilliant! Sign me up!

  26. BTW, making the neck hole could be called a columnotomy, the hole itself a columnostomy. Column is Latin for neck, -otomy for incision or cut, and -ostomy for hole made by an -otomy.

  27. As Clan Watt I can talk about the Holy Bible in English, the first English dictionary and encyclopedia.
    My ancestors had fun, defining a prophesied language. Say "aspire". You aren't pronouncing it as a Latin word,
    as-pi-re, you aren't pronouncing it as-pire, you pronounce it ass-spire. Imagine a Jesuit priest or Holy Roman
    Empire bishop, pointing up at the top of his church, saying you should worship the god of Rome and follow
    him up the stairs into the cathedral. Ass-spire, for sure. It's nice to find a haven in a storm, He makes it Heaven.
    It's also nice to be born on this earth, when He makes it a Hearth. Bay-an-uck-let, blessings on you in Gaelic.

  28. I cannot believe this is real!
    Something about this seems incredibly wasteful. If you have no intention to allow the nutrients from food you consume be absorbed by your body, then DO NOT eat it!
    Jeezus H. Fucking Christ! How about having some self control!?
    And if you don't have any of that…then you aren't meant to survive.
    It is survival of the fittest not "who can fit more cake in their gaping maw."
    LMMFAO & SMMFH at that Esophagorge animation! Dammit, how can something be that gross & hilarious simultaneously!?!
    There are people who have serious addiction problems, and Aspire Assist is a device will only enable food addicts (look it up..its those types that "eat their bad feelings away").
    May as well just give free booze to alcoholics, cartons of cigs to cancer patients and fentanyl and oxy..heroin for that matter, just get to the really hard shit.. to junkies.
    This sort of "invention" is only out there to make the company's CEO & shareholders more money. That product isn't being introduced to help people…things that harm aren't usually meant to help people at all…except those who are only looking to get rich quick.

  29. i know this was 3 years ago, but i prefer the latter esophagorge, are they on the market as of now ?
    too funny .

  30. I feel like the acid in the stomach would have bad effects and why would u expose or risk ur body to germs in the stomach hmm don't see that going well

  31. @Primalxbeast Saying that fat people should just eat less, or that we don't have self control is bullshit, our bodies do not register when we are full, therefore it's like being hungry non-stop, so lets see if you can stop breathing, and I'll stop eating ok. . . go! Just as your body will force you to breath, even when you haven't run out of air yet, my body tells me that I'm going to die if I don't eat, I'd like to see you have self control when your body hurts with hunger! Furthermore, you can go to any grocery store and buy food that is vegan, vegetarian, high in fibre, low in cholesterol, gluton free, or with low sodium; but nowhere do they have little green check marks for food that is low calorie!!!! Obesity is an epidemic and it is easily solved, but instead of creating low cal options for fat people all we get is shamed and humiliated and ostracized by assholes like you!
    With all the technology we have, with all the artificial flavours, they can't make good tasting food with lower calories! They can't make a cauliflower burger that would only have like 50-70 calories, they cant make a 10cal veggie wafer bar?! They can't or they wont make lower cal pasta, pasta sauce, buns, bread, nothing! I think that society doesn't care, they'd rather blame and vilify the individual!

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