Trump’s Annual Physical Results Reveal Obesity

Trump’s Annual Physical Results Reveal Obesity


Welcome to the show, everybody. Well, the results of Trump’s
annual physical came out. And I saw that in the past year,
he gained 4 pounds. Trump said, “That’s because
when I stepped on the scale, I forgot to take off my hair.” 4 pounds? After gaining 4 pounds, he’s now technically
considered obese. He knew he was in trouble
when he got on the scale, and it said
“National Emergency.” That’s right — Since Trump
is now technically obese, he could just
BE the border wall. That’s what I’m saying. Why not? I saw that one of
Trump’s challengers in the next election,
Kamala Harris, says she supports
legalizing weed, because it gives
a lot of people joy. [ Cheers and applause ] Which explains her new slogan… Spark more of that joy!
-Wow! -Check this out.
The winner of last year’s $1.5 billion
Mega Millions jackpot still hasn’t come forward. And you know the guy
with the winning ticket is watching the news like,
“That idiot.” “You’re the –” Some sports news —
A minor-league baseball stadium in Connecticut just became the country’s first ballpark
to ban peanuts. Yeah, they said, “We don’t want
to risk anybody getting hurt. Now who’s ready for
the T-shirt cannon? Let’s go! Let’s go!” [ Air horn blaring ] Guys, it’s time for
“Tonight Show News Blender,” where we take real headlines
from the week and blend them together
to see how weird we can make the headlines. I’ll show you what I mean.
For example, if you blend the stories Kim Jong-un sees
different version of Trump… Clinique offers sultry
Valentine’s Day makeup… and creators of “Baby Shark”
release new song, you get… Trump and Kim Jong-un release
sultry version of “Baby Shark” for Valentine’s Day. See what I’m saying?
-Yeah. It blends it. Yeah, yeah. -Next up,
if you blend the stories dating app Coffee Meets Bagel
suffers breach… Taco Bell orders
vegan options… and man behind restaurant
explosion identified, you get… Man meets Taco Bell,
meets coffee, suffers behind explosion. [ Laughter ] Next up,
if you blend the stories Barneys selling high-end bong… Trump tweets
wall keeps law and order… and new technology makes
binge-watching easier,
you get… high Trump binge-watches
“Law & Order,” keeps tweeting, “Bong bong.” [ “Law & Order” tones play ] And finally,
if you blend the stories… winter snow brings
3 to 6 inches… plans to shrink wealth gap
between men and women and — Don’t let me do the joke,
please. -Come on! -Couple from Texas holds
nudist wedding, you get… Nudists hold winter wedding,
men shrink from 6 to 3 inches. -Ohh!
-There we go. We’ve got a great show tonight. Give it up for The Roots,
everybody.

100 thoughts on “Trump’s Annual Physical Results Reveal Obesity

  1. Oh America I love you but I fear for you with such a misogynistic, racist, deluded narcissist for a president. How the hell do you go from Barack Obama 🙌🏻 to Trump 🤡 I'm praying for you my friends across the pond.
    But could you pray for us in return… we've gotta survived this Brexit hell x

  2. Will you be my valentine jimmy? I mean I’m not gay but you are too adorable one would be lucky to have your company 😍

  3. Many victims of sexual assault develop binge eating disorder or bulimia in response to the trauma which can cause obesity. Since Trump is a predator I’m glad he has the body of many victims – he deserves to take a taste of his own medicine. I can’t believe that he got away with calling women fat for so long.

  4. Once again the “Enlightened” elite show us what assholes they really are! You can have someone like Rebel Wilson on & be forced to agree that she’s “Gorgeous & Healthy & a positive role model. But when it’s Trump, say whatever you want! I don’t think the man looks bad for his age. A lot of people gain weight in stressful jobs & situations. Remember the joke about Clinton on SNL jogging into McDonalds? That’s when everyone got made fun of not just Trump & Republicans. Who even watches these Late Night Idiots? Bill Gates was on Assholes Show, I mean Colbert & he looks like a soft lumpy nerd. So Trumps not built like a Fitness Model, what’s next to pick on?? Well, at least after 2020, you’ll have plenty more material when we beat every lame Democrat that runs. I know you can’t deal with it, but Trump’s gonna do it again baby in 2020!!!

  5. Maybe we’ll get a Harris/Warren ticket to run against Trump! What a gift that would be for me & millions of other Trump supporters!!! Please! You thought he won big the first time! Trump 2020

  6. Fat jokes? Would you like a double fries with those double standards?
    The Tonight Show: "Screw body positivity" #HowDoYouLikeThemApples?

  7. Well you get what you pay for after eating fast fat food and fried food I was 217 lbs when I was with my ex until 2,004 that’s all he would eat and I noticed I was having a hard time breathing I woke up

    we broke up because I told him besides he is abuse full and cheating . Plus I know he wanted me obese . He wanted me to die he wanted my money .

    That’s what happened I am still 170 lbs. never felt better stayed away from fast fat food , fried food , ect.

  8. Fat shaming? This is pretty much proof that American "liberals" don´t give a shit about the stuff they claim to champion. The moment it becomes beneficial to them to turn, they turn. If you´re an American "liberal" stay the fuck away from my country, you people are completely fucked in the head.

  9. To everyone complainging about fat shaming Trump: he’s a BIG boy, he can take it.
    And he makes fun of everyone, the disabled, poor people, Americans, his own voters.
    No limit for his fat ass.

  10. for the 3% reading this, I hope you become successful in life with everything you dreamed of, and accomplish more than you had imagined. I am a youtuber myself and I'm not asking you to do anything. but I would love to hit 30k by the end of March! THANK YOU, ALL OF YOUTUBE

  11. I love Jimmy, and I understand it’s easy and popular to always poke fun at Trump, but this headline is disgraceful. He’s still the President of the United States — show a little bit of respect.

  12. When you’re so desperate for content that you talk about the president’s appearance. No respect. And I thought we weren’t supposed to fat shame – acceptance at all weights!

  13. lol..I think you got him this time, Jimmy! To fat to be president! Good work. Wonder why nobody else thought of that……well, anyway, nice work. Anything to get that big fat orange clown out of our white house, eh, Jimmy? Then, maybe we can tell jokes about somebody else!…….haha

  14. What’s even funnier, is that all the fake woke assholes who shame everyone else, would be crying “offended,” and blah blah blah, “fat-shaming,” had this been said about anyone else. Hypocrites.

  15. I hate trump but joking about his obesity is not funny .. i mean yes but he basically represents A HUGE PROBLEM IN AMERICA. Well I guess they really got someone who represents them 🤷🏻‍♀️

  16. weather you like trump or not it isn't nice to make fun of someones weight you wouldn't like it if someone made fun of your weight in front of 19 million people wow jimmy your so funny making fun of people but people wonder why bullying is so bad it is because people like you in america .

  17. Both Clinton and W. Bush were declared “obese” by their medical doctors; Clinton in fact had hearth surgery done when he was in his 50’s and Obama, we all know was an anorexic chain smoking crackhead. Jimmy is a total drunk, drunkenness runs in his family.

  18. Dear super amazing person reading this,
        I hope you have a super awesome day! If you don’t think you did, just remember that there's always something to be happy about. It’s the simplest things that can easily make us happy. Be friendly, nice and help each other out. If you are feeling sad or down , remember that there's always hope. Even if all the doors are closed there's still a window. You are awesome, and you are amazing. You are loved and someone cares about you. Be happy, laugh, smile! Suicide is NEVER the answer. Fact is I'm terrified by how easily someone could take their own life. Please stay, there's HOPE! You are smart, beautiful, handsome, wayyyy stronger than you think. Someone loves and cares about you. You're worth it, you're good enough, you're not a failure, you're not a piece of trash. Believe in yourself!!
       I know some people don't like this and will hate, but i just want more people to be happy and to spread more positive energy. I'm not doing this for myself, I just wanna spread the joy to everyone. Maybe I did make some grammar mistakes and spelled something wrong, but I’m just a kid. I’m writing this cuz i wanna make everyone happy:)

  19. … And on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on…

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