How Do I Lose Weight If I Am Recovered From an ED?!? Tumblr Tuesday #KatiFAQ | Kati Morton

How Do I Lose Weight If I Am Recovered From an ED?!? Tumblr Tuesday #KatiFAQ | Kati Morton

Hey everybody, it’s Tuesday! And you know what that means; that means I’m on Tumblr. And I’m back! Hello! Thank you so much for understanding that I had to take a vacation last week. We had Thanksgiving here in the States, and so I flew home to Seattle. Umm, or a town outside of Seattle. But I flew home to Washington state to visit my family. Sean came with me. We had a really good time. And thank you all for understanding, because I know that the internet never sleeps. Not everybody has Thanksgiving holidays, but I have to recharge my batteries. Right? I have to take time off, so that I can take time for me. And I can come back and keep doing this forever and ever and ever. Okay. So I’m on Tumblr like I said. So if you asked your question using the #KatiFAQ. I have four questions today as well as a journal topic at the end, so stay tuned. Without further a do, question number one. “#KatiFAQ My husband and I have begun talking about having our first baby.” How exciting! “I have chronic depression, often involving suicidal ideation and anxiety. Depressive episodes come and go over the years and I worry that if we wait until I’m actually healthy we may never have kids. Is having a baby a bad idea when you know you struggle with mental illness. I don’t want … ah blah blah blah … I don’t want my depression to dictate my life, yet I don’t want to head into parenthood without considering the impact that it could have on our children. Thanks” This was a great question, because I don’t really talk about this stuff very often. And the way that I’m going to answer this is kind of like if you were in my office. I would give you, I’d have, we’d weigh in. Right? We’d talk about the pros and the cons, what to think about, and how to prepare. So I agree with you, that your depression should not dictate your life. And it should not be something that you wait to be healthy about or wait to have happen. Because mental illness and our different issues can come and go, like you said, over the years. And we may think we have everything under control, and we don’t. Then we may think that everything’s out of wack and we start feeling better. And so, it’s something that I don’t really like my clients to put life on hold for. However, there are things we can do to be proactive. For example, if you would like to get pregnant, and you and your husband … it’s something that you really want and you’re ready for. Because it’s a big change, right? I want you to enlist a therapist and a psychiatrist as part of your team. I want you to see them now, all the way through until after you have your baby. Because a lot of people suffer from postpartum depression, after the baby. Because as we know our hormones change a lot when we’re pregnant and they kind of feel all over the place. People cry when they don’t even know why they’re crying. They’ll be mad when they don’t know why they’re mad. It’s almost like PMS extreme … maybe. But um, so you want to make sure you have people on your team, on your side who know what you’re like before you’re pregnant, and what you’re like when you’re pregnant, and they can help you afterwards. So that we make sure that everything is healthy and happy and great with your baby and you. And also it will be good for you to start thinking about and talking about being a mother and what that means. And maybe even working with your husband. You know, I mean everybody has their own process, and I think having a team together will really really help with that. Also, because you’re saying what it could have on your child. We are going to pass on good and bad genes to our children. It just is part of the whole fact of being a parent. We all have good and bad things about us. Things we don’t like and things we do like. And I would not that discourage you from having a baby. The great thing about being aware of our struggles is that we’ve learned, and we can pass that education on to our children. Making sure that they have good coping skills in check. We can talk openly about how we’re feeling. If we’re feeling down. And just starting that conversation early, so that it’s more normal for them to talk about it, and to cope with it and get over it versus maybe some things that we would have done when we didn’t know what to do. We ruminated on it, we stayed in our rooms, and you know turned off the lights or whatever. So ya, I think having a baby if you’re ready and that’s something you want, go ahead. Go for it. Let’s just be prepared and let’s make sure we have our tools in place. Okay. Question number two, “I’m recovered from bulimia. I don’t weigh myself, but I know, all caps, and feel that I have gained weight. I want to lose a few pounds, but I’m scared that I’ll relapse. My thighs are so fat. I don’t want to count calories, etc., but I need to lose weight. How?” I get these questions all the time. Now first of all if you haven’t weighed yourself you don’t know that you’ve gained weight. You shouldn’t weigh yourself and trust me that eating disorder voice is getting louder. And it will always tell us that we’re fat, we’ve gained weight, we’re so big, we’re bloated, my stomach, my thighs, my blah blah blah. It’ll go crazy on us. Right. Don’t believe it. It’s lying. No, no, no. And the only way that I’ll ever allow my clients who say I really would like to eat more healthy, I need to gain weight or lose weight, or whatever blah blah blah. Use a dietician or a nutritionist. Set up an appointment, work on a meal plan, and make sure your body’s getting the nutrients it needs. Because the thing is when we’re recovered from an eating disorder it’s a slippery slope, and I have had more clients than I’d like to count go on a diet that turns back into their eating disorder. And have to send them back to inpatient, and have to go through it all over again. So just be very very careful. I know you’re feeling really fat, but I would also think about what’s going on in your life right now to stress you out, to make that, those feelings so intense and so heavy on you so that you feel like you need to start dieting. I am a firm believe in intuitive eating. If you haven’t picked up that workbook, it’s in the widget at the bottom of my website, I would grab that book, because we should be able to eat when we’re hungry, stop when we’re full, and live healthy happy lives. Right. And I am a firm believer in that. Don’t diet. I don’t do it. Okay, question number three. Can you explain the difference between bulimia and anorexia binge purge type? I get so many questions about this, and I actually talked about it before, but I’ll say it again. Because everybody wonders and worries, and the only difference unfortunately is weight. If we are less than 85% of an ideal body weight, and that is something that has to be determined by a doctor or a dietician, then it would anorexia binge purge type. Bulimia is when we don’t meet the weight criteria and we’re binging and purging. That’s just what it is. It’s what the DSM says, so that’s what we have to follow. Umm, ya. But don’t believe your eating disorder when it’s saying one is worse or better than the other, because that’s just not true. They’re all the same. Okay. Question number four: “What made you want to become a therapist?” I’ve never actually, I’m sure somebody’s asked this before, but I don’t know if I’ve actually ever answered it. I knew I wanted to be a psychologist, is actually what I thought I wanted to be back in high school. I’ve always been very, I don’t know, I don’t know if level headed is the right word or just like mellow and consistent. Just keep it consistent, and so my girlfriends would always come to me. I’d be the one that would listen to everybody, and I really enjoyed … um… I enjoyed it. I enjoyed listening. I enjoyed taking into consideration all the factors and trying to help in the best way that I could. And so I was always interested in people. I found … I took Intro to Psychology in high school, and I found, this sounds really bizarre, but I found mental illness to be really fascinating. The way that the brain works and how as humans our bodies are so adaptive, and it’s just amazing. The human brain is amazing. The human body is amazing. So I really found it fascinating. I used to want to be a psychologist, and then I wanted to be a psychiatrist. But then when I went to school and realized how expensive school was, and I paid for it myself, then I realized I didn’t want all those student loans. So I decided that I’d get my masters in clinical psychology, and here I am today. Ta da! So ya, i guess that answers your question. On the journal topic for today, because it was Thanksgiving here in the States and I know Canada’s was in October, and I’m sure that all of you have a certain version that you do within your country. But I want you all to take time to think about what you’re thankful for. Now these can be big things. It can be like, you know, I’m thankful for my family and my job and the fact that this thing happened to me and now it’s amazing and I’ve been blessed. Whatever you want it to be. Thankful for your children, thankful for your husband or your loved ones. Or it can be small things like I’m thankful for the air I breathe. I’m thankful that I have clothes on my back or a roof over my head or whatever. Just take some time to think about things that you’re thankful for. Maybe make a list and put it up in your bedroom or somewhere where you can see it, so that you can be reminded about how amazing life is. And how many great things we have going for us. Because often times we get caught in this negativity cycle, and we can’t get out. So maybe use that to try to stop the cycle. Get us back. You know? So ya. That’s it. Tomorrow is Wednesday, and I’ll be on the website,, under Community Forums, you go down, you click on Q&A’s for videos I think or ya Q&A for Videos is what it’s called. I’ll answer questions there, as well as under this video. So leave your questions below. And don’t forget to like it and give it a plus one and all that stuff. And if you haven’t added google+ please do it, because when you leave comments I can’t reply, and that makes me sad. But I will see you all tomorrow. Have a wonderful evening. Bye! Subtitles by the community

34 thoughts on “How Do I Lose Weight If I Am Recovered From an ED?!? Tumblr Tuesday #KatiFAQ | Kati Morton

  1. #KatiFAQ How can I prepare for the grief I am going to experience over the Christmas holiday season from the recent loss of my grandma? I've dealt with grief before when I lost my dad, but each time is different.. xoxo

  2. #katifaq Is it normal to be heavily involved with alcoholism when suffering with an eating disorder? I'm not even sure if my drinking is a problem.. I drink at least twice a week, (usually more), but not just a few glasses. I keep going until I'm passed out, and it keeps getting worse. Each time I drink I feel like I'm cheating my ED, and doubt whether I'm 'worthy' of it because I know how many calories I consume with the alcohol. Is this normal?

  3. Hi Kati, what is the name of the book on intuitive eating you mentioned? I looked through your widget on your website but wasn't sure. thanks! x 

  4. Hi Kati, I'm glad you took the time to recharge your batteries (everyone needs to, or else you risk burnout, right?) but welcome back!

  5. I'm a child of an BPD mum and it have made my life much more difficult and it has marked me negatively! I have had an ED in 13 years and my life is hard! I will not have children because I wish that my mum never had me! I will not bring a child into this world if i know there is a possibility that the child not get a perfect normal upbrining. I couldn't bear that if i get a child it will be effectet like I did! no one deserves the life I have had. That is my reason not to have children.  

  6. Hi Kati. Welcome back 🙂 I'm always fascinated by that stripy picture behind you. Is it made from newspaper and magazine words? Coz this time it looks like one of the stripes has some words on it.

  7. #katifaq   Is 'high functioning depression' a real thing? And how do I get help for it?
    I have struggled with depression and suicidal ideation etc for nearly 5 years. I don't feel like i have got any better, just that i have learnt to deal with it better or have a higher threshold for it. I stay on top of my schoolwork and usually i can still socialise but i'm having a really rough time. I worried that my Mental health team won't want to see me because i'm 'functioning' fine and seem happy (i'm naturally really smiley). How do i get them to see i need help?

    Sorry for the essay 😛 
    Thanks! Stay wonderful! xoxo 😀

  8. #katifaq  When I'm going through my week, when things happen I start thinking about what I'll say about it in therapy rather than actually experiencing what's going on.  I think I'm going into analysis mode really quickly because I'd rather think about things logically, feeling is too uncomfortable.  For example, I'll be feeling sad about something, but when I notice I'm sad, I think about what I'll tell my therapist in a few days about why I was sad, and then I'm not sad.  It's almost like I'm narrating my life rather than living it.  Is this healthy?

  9. There is so much in my head just now, everythings so loud, my thoughts are racing my mood is all over the place. I saw my therapist today and i couldnt explain to her what was going on in my head because i cant control my thoughts. She got really worried and i thought she wasnt going to let me leave. She's made an appt for me to see a psychiatrist tomorrow morning and then i have to see her again in the afternoon. I am so scared of being admitted i just want to run away. I feel like im going to say something wrong and they won't let me leave. I don't know how to explain whats going on in my head and i dont want to be misinterepreted. I don't know what to do? AHHHH.

  10. So thankful that education, doctors, treatment, phychologists/therapists etc. all is free here. I can imagine how frustrating it must be to actually want to get better and not be able to pay or something like that.
    And here I am refusing going back to impatient and even talking to a therapist… meh
    Hope you had a great thanksgiving, actually missed you haha! :)xx

  11. Thank you Kati! I am thankful for finding your videos! I have a request. Can you do a vlog on obesity as an eating disorder? I am obese, but I find so many similarities in the emotional trauma, self harming thinking that anorexia/bulimia suffer from, but am having trouble finding any support for those of us on the other side of the scale. So many people tell us it is super easy to drop these pounds, but we suffer from the same thought process (self hatred when reflected in the mirror). We diet, and starve ourselves, and do extremely unhealthy things to lose the weight, just to gain it all back. It is a damaging cycle. Can obesity also be an eating disorder? And what kind of sources can we look into for helping us be healthier?

  12. To the person asking about having a child: My girlfriend's mum has depression and other mental illnesses and severely controls the rest of the family. Her feelings take priority over everyone else's in an unhealthy way, and always have done. My girlfriend is 18 years old but has several mental illnesses herself now, as a result of her mum. I, as someone who definitely wants to have kids one day, knows how it would feel to imagine not having them, however I think unless you can control your depression and mental illnesses to a certain extent, or are receiving help for them and know techniques to not let it severely interfere with those around you's lives, then having a child isn't the best idea as it is completely unfair on them. You will probably know within yourself if you think you can raise a child without your illnesses being a huge part of their life or not. However on the other hand, having a child could help you tremendously as it's a wonderful thing. I think it's something you shouldn't let your depression stop you from doing, just set boundaries and be careful.

  13. #KatiFAQ Is it normal for your therapist to tell you psychiatrist everything? I appreciate that i have a treatment team that is connected but the last few times ive been to my doctor ive noticed he mentions private stuff and im not really sure how to feel about that. Is this is how is supposed to be? how does this works? im so confused and i really dont know if i should be angry or not or if i should discuss it with my therapist.

  14. First of all: Seattle love! The Seattle area is my hometown too 🙂

    #KatiFAQ  I'm having a hard time focusing on recovery because I am overweight and have been gaining. It's been easier for me to stop purging than it has been to stop bingeing and restricting, so effectively, my dietitian tells me I'm slowing my metabolism down and gaining because of this. While my treatment team acknowledges that all of this is happening, they don't seem to understand how much the weight gain is preventing progress, which I find really frustrating and terrifying. I'm honestly not convinced that the risk of gaining weight is worth recovery and so I keep actively restricting (hoping I have the self control not to binge).

    How can I communicate my fear with them effectively and be taken seriously? I know everybody with EDs doesn't want to gain weight, so I feel like they just brush it off. Or how to navigate dealing with body image issues either– I'm not sure if I see myself as more overweight than I am or not. Being overweight makes me feel like I totally failed at having and ED while I simultaneously feel like I failed because I developed an ED in the first place. And my weight has made it hard to believe that I'm as sick as my team has said I am at times.

  15. #KatiFAQ In January (and then again in March) I asked if you could do a video on relationships and how to deal with not having one when everyone around you seems to be in one, especially when I am now 21 and it still hasn't happened for me. (I know you did one on relationships and pregnancy but that was more aimed at people who are in one so wasn't really relevant). You said you would add it to the list, I was just wondering if you still plan on making that video?

  16. Dear Kati, I'm studying to be a therapist in my native country (I'm in Northern Europe), and I really want to make a presence in quite a saturated market in a bad economy where prejudice against psychology prevails. I love your many channels of addressing people and would love to do something similar in my country/my language, but I couldn't possibly know how to do the things you do with the technologies – videos embedded in pdf workbooks, clickable links on youtube videos, the whole filming process etc. etc. Could you please tell me if you learned all that somewhere or is there someone helping you with this kind of stuff? What equipment do you use? You're someone I really look up to. Thanks!

  17. with question #2 I can relate!!!  I worked with a personal trainer and felt that I had to lose weight and I ended up relapsing.  It took 5 months but it happened.  I started out strong but then when I DID start losing weight (I DID need to lose 20 lbs to be healthier) I was actually seeing myself get fatter in the mirror!!!!  It was terrifying!  I did not weigh myself but I went back to "experiencing" my body as fat and the ED voice got louder and louder.  I personally feel that just as an recovered alcoholic cannot "just have one drink" EVER again, we almost cannot ever diet again or go into an  intensive exercise regime.   My experience was scary.  ED took over in a way I never thought possible, having been in strong recovery for 5 years at the time.  Be careful, it can happened.  Like Katie said, make sure you really DO need to lose weight and talk with a therapist and make SURE you have a solid meal plan and work with a dietician too!!  So crucial!!  I ended up so severely anemic I was having breathing difficulties at night and landed myself in the ER and then in intensive outpatient at an ED unit!!  Be wise and take care of yourself and most of all, be careful of that ED voice no matter how recovered you may be!!  Love to all

  18. Why don't people ever answer the question? What would you say to someone who did.not have an eating disorder but felt they had gained weight but not weighed themselves?

    Would you give weight loss tips then?

  19. Every time you said "okay?" At the end and it makes me feel like you're really thoughtful and listening and just sensitive and idk, it's just so nice hearing it.

  20. I like how you've got a master in clinical psychology. You kinda showed me that not all therapist are crap cause mine has the same degree but she always make me worse and nothing worked and eventually I stopped seeing her x

  21. What do I do if my insurance doesn't cover a dietician/nutritionist? I've relapsed rather badly into bulimia.

  22. I am actually over weight after I started to gain weight from binging. But I don't know how to lose it in a healthy way

  23. I think I'm falling into an eating disorder. I'm so scared. I feel like I don't have control over how much I consume. Like I can't bring myself to make healthy choices anymore.
    It all seemed so distant. I read a lot about it and watched a lot of videos and it could be happening to me.
    How did it start for you if you have one or are in recovery? Did you realise what was going on?

  24. I am still trying to get my period back but how long would I need to eating around 3000 cals until I get it back?

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