Beto O’Rourke: Born to Run & Born to Apologize | The Daily Show

Beto O’Rourke: Born to Run & Born to Apologize | The Daily Show

Beto O’Rourke,
former Texas congressman, and handsome scarecrow who raised $6.1 million, a record, in the 24 hours
after he announced his presidential run
last Thursday. And that’s a lot of money,
$6.1 million. That’s almost enough
to bribe your kid into USC. So right now, right now,
out of the gate, Beto looks like
a serious candidate, but his launch
is being overshadowed by a revelation
about his past. TV REPORTER: Newcomer
Beto O’Rourke quickly went from a big start
to closer scrutiny. TV REPORTER: Former U.S.
congressman O’Rourke confirmed that he used
to be a member of a well-known
computer hacking group. As a teenager, he belonged to
the group called, The Cult of the Dead Cow. He also wrote online essays under the name
Psychedelic Warlord. His writings as a teenager
included a piece of fiction written from the
point of view of a killer who runs over two children
with a car. That’s right, Beto O’Rourke used
to be a hacker, yeah. Which I think will only help
him, because it’s a great way to show that you’re from
a more modern generation. Most of the other candidates
could never have been hackers, even if they wanted to. Like, what was Bernie
gonna hack, a telegram? Huh? (mimics Sanders): “I breached
the mainframe, we’re in.” (laughter) (normal voice): And as for
people slamming O’Rourke for the short stories
that he wrote as a kid, I’m sorry,
but that’s just ridiculous. They were fiction, all right?
He wrote fiction. People are like
“I can’t believe–” He wrote fiction.
What’s next? Are we gonna arrest
George. R.R. Martin? Huh? That man’s a monster,
he killed thousands. No, he’s a monster because he
refuses to finish those books. That’s why he’s a monster. What the hell, George?! You and Robert Mueller having
a contest? Someone release something! God damn it! (cheers and applause) But Beto’s an interesting guy,
right? He doesn’t want to risk
offending anyone with his past writings. In fact, he doesn’t want
to offend anybody. He spent the weekend apologizing
for that and about 50 other things. Last night,
he said it was wrong of him to make a joke at several events that his wife had been raising
their three children “sometimes with my help.” Beto O’Rourke on the defensive
telling reporters he regretted saying that he was born
to run for president. I’m born to serve. Uh, I’m-I’m born to try to help
bring people together. Wow, this guy’s apologizing
for everything. Soon he’s gonna start
apologizing for stuff he didn’t even do. “I’m sorry Tristan cheated
on Khloe Kardashian. I have to take responsibility
for his actions.” I’m sorry, people,
but this is out of control. People literally wanted
Beto O’Rourke to apologize because he said
about the presidential race, “I was born for this.” And they were like,
“That’s white privilege. Are you saying the presidency
is your birthright?” No. “Born for this”
is a figure of speech we all use to indicate we’re ready
for something. All right? I wasn’t actually born
for the all-you-can-eat buffet. It’s just something I say. This shit is getting ridiculous. This is not wokeness.
This is insanity. Can you imagine
if Beto took this attitude into the White House? Huh? North Korea
would launch missiles, and his aide would be like,
“Mr. President, what do you want to do?” And he’d be like,
“Uh, as a white man, “maybe it’s my time to listen to what these missiles
have to say.” It’d be like, “Breaking news.
New York City was wiped out, but the president
is a woke bae.”

100 thoughts on “Beto O’Rourke: Born to Run & Born to Apologize | The Daily Show

  1. "This is not wokeness, this is insanity". THANK you. Couldnt agree more on how society is taking the matter.

  2. He's one of the weakest candidates I've seen running for President under the Democratic Party. I don't think he can win Trump.

  3. The most annoying part is that none of his apologies matter. The people who are sincerely offended by this will never be satisfied.

  4. Teenage years are always stupid but i still wont vote for him. The next election is like 6,7 days before my 18th bday

  5. I don't trust irish man Robert Francis o Rourke stop calling him beto he only did that to attract the Hispanic vote here in San Antonio he was begging us to vote for him in his gringo chopped up spanish screw this fraud hope Bernie destroys him Bernie got screwed in the last election by evil witch Hillary 😈

  6. Dems, please, nominate Robert "Veto" Horrorurke as your candidate, complete it with

    what would be a no-plus-ultra-cool ticket… yes add Alexzuela Ocrazy noCortex for vp…

    amazing ! Then let them propose a venezuelazian Grwako New Deal as their fundamental

    platform..your snowflake followers will be so happy….then will cry hard when Trump 2020 ! ! !

  7. Leftist media would crucify Trump if he wrote a fictional book about killing young children regardless of when he wrote it.

  8. Fuck beto and fuck apologizing for being white. If he really feels that he OWES blacks anything then he should commit the ultimate act of reparations and lynch himself from a burning cross on the white house lawn. #liberalismisamentalillness

  9. I would kick my kids ass if I bought his way into a college, then I went to jail and he said he wasn't going to go anyways. Damn spoiled worthless kids

  10. Man this character assassination is out of control and I fear that it is coming from the Bernie side. Beto is not my go to candidate, but this is just stupid.

  11. #yang2020 #yanggang #yanggang2020

    This is why Andrew Yang is honestly the best canidate. Andrew is the most intelligent canidate with actual substance. Giving every American 💰 $1,000 a month is just icing on the cake. Just search for Andrew Yang on YouTube

  12. Is Comedy Central still on the air, or arw they just doing YouTube videos now? I saw a commercial with this douche begging viewers to call their cable providers and plead with them not to take Comedy Central off the air, because their shows suck these days and no one is watching them.

  13. People make a big deal and criticize him for stupid stuff. Yet, concerning the racist, immoral, crook who keeps committing crimes, the hypocrites stay quiet.

  14. That's a plus for me. He gets tech vs the current idiots like Marsha Blackburn who are put in charge of Tech policy and does embarrassing CNN interviews spouting stories about CYBERBOTS and clearly showing she knows nothing about tech and just wants 'fast lanes' for big corporations/donors (btw don't bother looking for the embarrassing CYBERBOTS interview here on YT as her lawyers had every post of it they could find pulled). Look elsewhere 😉 Maybe Beto wouldn't let the FCC run buckshot and overturn every Internet protection that was fought so hard for.

  15. The Dems seem hell-bent on self destructing. This is another example of the "circular firing squad" mentality. It feels as though they want a second Trump term. We progressives actually do have a middle finger. We need to start using it instead of coddling those babies known as millennials.

  16. Somehow conservatives care about some short stories that a Democrat wrote when they were a teenager, but turn a blind eye to a 58-year-old man openly admitting to sexual assault on a hot mic (Trump).

  17. Sorry! NO MORE TEXAS OIL MONEY FOR POTUS! We've had TWO Bushes' and Clinton was a Dixiecrat! Blue states support red ones, time for those who pay more to be represented. If you know anything about this country, companies and how the world and US MIC works you won't vote GOP!

  18. He is WAY too arrogant. I STILL believe Bernie will do what is right and has "walked the walk" in life! Hell, my Grandpa is 94, barely sleeps and STILL has his marbles. WWII vet and US Airlines pilot for over 40 years.

  19. They need to focus on his voting record from the past as the reason for why he'd be a bad president, not his fanfiction.

  20. In elementary school my friends and I came up with a new superhero, Dickman. He's basically a normal guy but with about 30 dicks sprouting from all over his body. I guess I wasn't woke enough.

  21. I REFUSE to apologize for the color GOD, the creator, made the color of my skin. He makes all things perfect and work together for good!!!!

  22. so when this guy writes a fictional story, it brings his fitness for office into question. but when a Supreme Court nominee was accused of ATTEMPTED RAPE, everyone was all "well, how much should any of us in society be held accountable for what we did when we were younger?"

  23. I mean, we all have that old fan fiction we wrote that we don't want to see the light of day. And don't even get me started on edgy teenage angst fiction.

  24. Well, he's already apologized for being rich, he's apologized for being white. I wouldn't be surprised if he apologized for being straight, and to show his contrition, he live-streamed ….ok I'll stop myself there.

  25. So Trevor is more than willing to give Mr. O'Rourke a pass on writing things as a younger person, but ….. other people he has no problem throwing them under the bus for things they said or did, and hold them to the flames for it?! double standard much.

  26. The hypocrisy here is amazing. Apparently if a Left-wing political candidate writes satires or makes a joke, its acceptable, despite whether it's about rape, murder, or terrorism. This does not apply if the same is suggested by a Right-wing politician. Maybe it's because they know we follow through with most of our promises and no one expects the Left to?

  27. Thank you! There are some snarky puritans out there that just make no sense at all to me. I get that Beto has enjoyed white male privilege all of his life but that does not mean that he is guilty of anything. He is passionate about ensuring justice for all groups that have not traditionally received it in America. He is the opposite of Trump.

  28. Robert, you are a weak pathetic demonRAT who needs to grow a pair. I think your wife is more masculine than you. I bet she leaves you for a real man in the near future. TRUMP 2020 – KAG!

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